Do you feel like there is something that is blocking love in your marriage?

Take a moment and reflect on your own behavior and attitude in your marriage. How do you treat your spouse and what kind of thoughts do you honestly have about that person?

If you find that you have any negative feelings, emotions, or attitudes towards your spouse, you have found a barrier. Where anger, bitterness, resentment, despair, or hostility of any kind is love cannot grow.

These types of feelings and thoughts cannot be in the same place in your heart as love. These negative things take residence in that part of your heart and causes a barrier to stop and push out love.

What does a barrier do? A barrier is an obstruction in a path that makes it more difficult, slows down from moving forward. A barrier causes a separation or division.

These types of feelings and thoughts are building blocks and continues to build other barriers such as self-pity, self-protection and shields of distrust. When you begin to dig around to find the foundation of these feelings you will find a foundation of unforgiveness, spirit of unforgiveness.

There is something that has been planted as a seed of “fault” that causes these things to take place, whether real or imagined. Pain seeds grows all kinds of negative feelings that continues to grow even more barriers.

Not only do these barriers cripple your marriage but it takes a toll on your physical and emotional well-being.

Sometimes these barriers are built and remain because you are unable to get over the past, deal with the negative attitudes, cope with your resentments, or even recognize your own anger. You may even believe that it is impossible or too complicated to forgive.

Here are 2 barrier breakers of truth:

1. You do not have to be controlled by emotions.
2. You are not a helpless prisoner of your past.

Take your eyes off of your feelings and look at your behaviors. You can change your behaviors. Behaviors are a choice not a feeling. But behaviors will change your feelings.

In God’s Word we are not asked to “feel” anything or to change our “feelings”. God asks us to make a decision to choose e to do something such as watch our thoughts or behaviors. These choices and actions changes the feelings.

Take the hammer to the foundation of these barriers by getting rid of the unforgiveness by taking these 3 steps.

1. Use free will to make a choice to forgive.
2. Deliberately behave just as we are taught in the Bible like Jesus.
3. Trust God by allowing your mind to be renewed. This gives you a new transformed attitude.

Tearing down the barriers will allow love to rush in like a river and then your behavior will show your love as you have chosen to not walk in unforgiveness no matter what you see in your situation. Love is an action, so tear down the barriers and let it flow.

(Stay tune for the 3 Steps of Barrier Breaking)