In part 1 and 2 of Wives Submit To Your Husbands, we have discussed on being a servant to our husbands, making our home a home again by taking a look at our attitude in the situation. So now you are at least thinking upon these things. What if your husband is not fulfilling his role in a negative way and submission seems to not be an option? When do you tell when it is ok not to submit to your husband? Let’s take a deeper look into this subject.
What do you do if your husband is not taking his role, causing havoc or tensions in the home? None of us are perfect and marriage is work. There are going to be days that it will be hard to submit especially when they will not respond the way you are expecting them to or to do their responsibility of the home. Then there are times that it isn’t just days but weeks, months, or even years. It is times like this that you have to be seeking God‘s face and still serving your husband according to the Word of God and not according to man.
Sometimes ladies that is hard when you experience pain and hurt and even disappointment to still want to do things for the person who has caused these things. It makes it difficult and it feels unfair. But our love is to be unconditional just like Jesus’ love.
When you are in a place where you are warring to submit, sit before God and find out what your steps are to take. You cannot change your husband but you can pray for him, seek God on how you can do your part, and fulfill your role according to the Word of God.
Think about how Jesus dealt with the hard tasks. He would go by himself in the garden or to the mountain tops or separate himself one way or another and cry out to God for instruction, strength, and to keep Himself in line to what God the Father’s plan was for His life. We need to do the same.
It is time women that we get into the Word of God and just see how He has made us and what He expects from us. There are multiple Scriptures on what God wants from a woman to do even for her husband. It may seem far from who you are but the truth is these things were written to help build our character and to become more like the image of Jesus.
One of the many warring issues is women think they are spiritually dependent on their husband for strength, stability, and even ministry. This is not so. Submitting to your husband doesn’t mean that you are spiritually dependent on him. You should have your own relationship with God. When you have your own relationship with God then you are able to be the “help mate” that God created you to be in the first place.
There are times you are going to disagree, but it is how you handle that disagreement that matters. God called women to be the help mate in life. Women you cannot do this if you are not stable yourself. Instead you become a dependency that he has to hold up instead of leaning on. Your relationship with God depends on you 100%.
Yes, your husband has responsibilities spiritually for you to cover you, etc. But he cannot make you serve God. He cannot not make you love God. That is up to each person.
There are going to be times that your husband may not be where he should be spiritually, but you are going to have to humbly allow God to take care of your husband as you still respect and submit to him in other areas. God does not want you to walk in fear of your husband but instead fear only God and that fear is really a respect. Remember the only one that should be chosen above your husband is God. So if your husband is asking you to do something that goes against God’s Word then that would be something that you would not submit to.
Look at 1 Peter 3:1-6
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
This explains how a woman should continue to love, support, and submit to her husband even when he is not doing right, to win him for the kingdom of God. But this does not mean you have to participate in his decisions or sin.
Be his example and you can do it without being a nag or indignant. And you can do it without being afraid of him. You can do this through loving him and being the same example that Jesus gave and you could very well win him over to Christ if he is falling away.
One of the biggest myths or lies of ‘wives submit to your husband’ is that you have put your husband’s will above God. This is not true. It is in these times that you are to choose Jesus over your husband. This seems to be a no brainer but so many wives will do this or give it as an excuse of why they are not submitting. The truth is if we have a true humble spirit we would be able to allow the Holy Spirit to direct us in the proper way to handle this as well as other things that come up that would stop us in fulfilling our roles in being submissive to our husbands.
The truth is it’s all about balance and lining up to the Word of God. If you are having a hard time submitting then you need to search your heart and ask God what is stopping you from being a servant. What is stopping you from being obedient to the Word of God and why is doing what you were made to do a difficulty. Listen to hear what God says and then allow the change to take place.