In part 1 of Wives Submit To Your Husbands, we addressed what that meant in terms of being a servant and paying attention to what your husband needs and how a wife’s role has been corrupted by the ideas of the world.
We have been called to serve one another. But wives were asked to deliberately (on purpose) serve/submit to their husbands. This means that, wives, you are supposed to look for ways to do this each and every day. It is not making a decision to do something nice for a stranger or for approval. It is to serve your husband not for yourself or even for him but for Christ.
Jesus had done many things to serve the church and continues to do so. Even when He knows those who will end up betraying him, who will spit upon His name, etc. He still loves.
When you serve another and put their needs before your own, this puts pride, selfishness, among many other destructive behaviors at bay.
There are too many times that people get married but they do not understand when they get married that they are saying to the other person, “I put myself in the coffin and I am making a covenant to be your servant and a vessel to show you love the rest of the days on this earth.” Self is dead and gone.
The decisions you make every day should reflect on what is best for your husband and how does what you are doing help him to be the most productive for that day.
Men back in the day were very successful and were responsible for their families. Many women today would not be able to live in the lives of those who lived in the past because of their attitudes and outlooks on how people treated you. There was a different respect for men and the ways of the house.
If you look into the homes of most modern places, there is not much family left. Everyone is about their own thing and to do something for someone else comes with an expectation of payment or recognition of some sort that it has been done. This has brought much conflict and strife in the home and teamwork has become almost nonexistent.
There is too much involvement in everyone being in their own little world called the internet. Many families do not eat at the table anymore, ask how a person’s day was, or go to church together. For something to be strong it must work together and to work together you must be able to work with each other and for each other.
The same thing goes in a marriage. When you are submitting to your husband you are giving him respect and helping support him to take his rightful position in the home. Women were not built to carry the load of the home. But they were built to help support the one God created to do it – the husband. It is supposed to be a joint effort in joining the family together not just co existing.
It is time to live in reality and to learn to put the computers, phones, and other distractions to the side and make your home a home again. A family should be a tight knitted bond. It is the same as the family of the Body of Christ. Self should be no more. Wives, you will be surprised that as you make the changes in your attitude towards your husband and seek God’s face in how to make your home a home.
It is time to get back to the basics. It is in the basics that you will find what Jesus Christ has given us to begin the building process of a solid foundation to be laid. When you have a solid foundation in Him then what you are building in His Kingdom will stand.
Selfishness cannot be a part of the foundation. It will cause air bubbles to the foundation that will cause the foundation to eventually shift and the structure will fall. This is because the opposite of submission and servant hood is selfishness and pride.
There is so much talk on being “equal” to your spouse and that if you submit to your husband that you are not his equal any longer. This is not true. When you submit to your husband you are actually agreeing to “share” his opinion, decision, or whatever the case may be. You are being his backup, support, and fulfilling your role.
In a marriage there should not be independency as a separation. Yes, you are an individual but you are now a team. It is no longer about your life and his life but “our” life. Me turns to We. When you are not submitting you are really saying that you do not trust his decisions, his ways, who he is, etc. I am sure that is not how you felt before you married him, so why it is once a woman gets married that this seems to change?
We are not formed the same. There are things that we each physically, mentally, and emotionally can do that the other cannot. That is the halves coming together as a whole. When we try to do things all on our own, we are not giving the other half to do their part. We were meant to complement each other and not compete against each other.
We were created equally but we were not created to be the same. That is what makes marriage and coming together so beautiful. Instead of focusing on the weakness and the disaster of the marriage, ask God to show you what is His idea and plan for your marriage. Ask God what is the goal for your marriage? Then sit quietly before Him and let Him teach you how to get there. I guarantee you that it will help you to work with your spouse and instead of tackling each other to see who goes down first.
When a person has a hard time with submitting there are 9 times out of 10 twisted truths that have been placed there from the enemy by either traumas, experiences, or influenced by society. These lies causes roots that brings in a stubbornness or even a bad taste to being submissive.
A lot of stems from fear, insecurity, rebellion, and many other issues that needs to be dealt with and addressed. In deliverances, we strongly encourage and advise all couples who are planning on getting married to go through deliverances and get set free before the “I dos” so that you go into the marriage pure and without these huge, unnecessary battles.
If you are having a hard time submitting to your husband and the authority of Jesus and the structure set by the Word, search your hearts and you may be surprised at what you see. Ask God to help you in this area. And as you allow your attitude to change in this area, it is a good step to move forward in the lifestyle God has created for us to live.