What is the definition of marriage?
Marriage in the dictionary is defined as: the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship (historically and in some jurisdictions specifically a union between a man and a woman).
Marriage in the bible is defined as: Marriage was instituted by God in the Garden of Eden at the time of man’s creation as a union between man and woman, the two becomes one flesh.
This is a commitment that was made to last a lifetime.
Today many people do not respect or reverence marriage and what it is all about. Too many are in a mindset of temporary commitment instead of a lifetime commitment to a spouse. There is a low tolerance for dealing with problems and situations that go beyond personal comfort. There is a lack of unconditional love, a love that will go past that personal comfort and withstand anything that life throws at you. It has become: “If I don’t like it I can leave.” This is a delusion that has created a high divorce rate among many other issues that influence the destruction of a marriage.
The image of marriage has become so distorted and even entering into a marriage has become such a warped idea that it is over before it begins.
The world is so full of selfishness and instant gratification that grace in a marriage is missing. Loving at all costs as well as unconditional love has become scarce in these times.
This morning, as I have been reflecting on my own marriage and allowing God to continue to open my eyes as to what is going on within our marriage, I can see where many times I didn’t allow grace to be a contributor. Believe me when I say that as I write these Marriage Tidbits, I am not writing them because I know everything about marriage and that my marriage is perfect. My marriage is not perfect and I do not know everything. As I write these I am simply sharing things that I am learning myself and hoping that it will open other’s eyes as they are facing similar situations and can avoid some of the mistakes that we have made.
To continue, as I was reflecting and mediating on what God was showing me, there were many times that I myself wasn’t showing my husband consistent love. In other words, my love didn’t stay the same regardless of what mistakes or perceived problems that came across our path. When things would go wrong, I had struggled in areas where it was hard to show him the same love and affection as when things were great and going right. The enemy would bombard my mind with all kinds of worldly thoughts of who was right and who was wrong, the injustice towards myself and how would I suffer because of what had taken place or even place this injustice on the children. Some of these things were projections of previous experiences that I began expecting the same results.
Now I am not talking about legit problems that need to be confronted such as abuse, sexual immorality, spiritual issues, or addictive behaviors that need to be confronted and I am not talking about being a door mat. I am talking about little problems that the enemy would water the seeds of those problems to grow them bigger as long as the mind is allowed to think of them and even acted upon them. What structure comes out of this to help the lasting commitment? An unstable one. One key ingredient that is missing from the everlasting commitment from marriages is grace. The grace that if I make a mistake, you will still love me.
In the vows of marriage there was not a promise to love if you are loved. It was a promise to love your spouse for the rest of your life. That is where the world has lost focus on what a marriage is all about and it is time to get it back where God intended it to be. A serious commitment that will last a lifetime.
I am a very strong believer in that there is no room for divorce. I have been divorced due to unfaithfulness and young stupidity, so I do understand that there are times divorce happens, but it should never be an option or any chance of a plan B taking place. I am grateful every day that God gave me a second chance to commit myself for a lifetime to my husband. That is God showing His Grace on me.
When the enemy tries to come at you about a divorce, he tries to amplify the issues. Take a look at those issues in your marriage, in the mindset of fixing them. Examine your foundation and ask God if there are any cracks in your foundation that would cause your commitment to fail in your marriage. When God reveals them to you, get them fixed. Go back to the basics and get the foundation right. From there as you build the structure of your marriage it will become strengthened and always remember it is through God that all things are possible and will stand.
Don’t miss the next post on more of the importance of grace in a marriage and learn a little on just how much grace God has with us.