Divorces have been easily used as a solution to a marriage that is having problems – big and small. It has become highly acceptable and truthfully has devalued marriage in many ways. Divorce was once the thing barely talked about and only took place as the very last answer and not one of the first answers.
This has happened because this world has become a throw away generation. It has become a generation that looks for a quick fix and lives in the moment without respect for the consequences of their actions or behavior. On top of that this is a generation that does not own up to their responsibilities. It has become a society of the blame game.
The problem with this is nothing will mature in the beauty it was intended for because it would have been thrown away too soon.
Let’s look at it this way: how many couches do you see at a secondhand store because someone decided to get rid of it? Or sitting outside the home for free to be picked up? It is not because it’s not functional but rather someone decided they wanted a new couch and got rid of the old one.
The market puts drinks in a pretty bottle to get you to buy it and then when you see no more purpose for it, you throw it away.
Now I am not saying to hoard things or to hold onto things just because they are pretty. I want to illustrate just how much of a throw away generation we have here.
How many people do you know that will not wear something the next year just because it was last year’s fashion and is now considered out of season? Kids these days are very bad at this. If it is not socially acceptable they will not wear it. It is no longer about what the person likes but what is acceptable.
The world has gotten so bad that even at a drop of a hat babies are thrown away simply because they do not want them. Babies are found in trash cans and people support abortions. Sorry but this is the truth. It is no wonder why divorce is so many in number.
Then there are those who bypass marriage but want to live with the benefits of marriage with an escape route. They live with each other, but they reserve a part of them to have the “clean break” – a way out and not having to worry about “splitting of property.” But the truth is both of these is just a false security and the price of sin will cost you your place in heaven.
Beyond the glitter and elegance of a wedding, marriage is a beautiful union between man and woman that God created to have purpose and meaning. It is to bring two together as one and not for the intent to split up and divide. It is a brand new life that takes place and one that you have to work at and not just take for granted.
There is a lot of things lacking in a marriage and simply a lot of the issues in this generation is a selfish generation. The “I’s” still is alive and well and not the “us”. It is the “me’s” and not the “we’s”. And this is not what God intended. If people would just grasp that self-dies but something beautiful comes alive – a brand new life. The unified goal of the couple should be to be happy and to have a good marriage that glorifies God. The goal should not be of one person’s expectations but the expectations of committing to the marriage vows and walking it out with the understanding that divorce is not the answer.
God does not expect you to do these things on your own. He wants to be first in your marriage and He will help you through each and every part of it. He will help you develop the mentality that is needed to stay and fight no matter what.
There are so many misconceived ideas that people have come to expect. There are so many deceptions that people go into with marriage that causes a disappointment and wounds because they are expecting things to be one way and when they are not that way it becomes devastating.
Some of these mislead ideas are:
- If I am a Christian or have a Christian marriage that it will be perfect.
- Once we are married certain things about my spouse will change.
- The person I am marrying is flawless, someone out of a fairytale, romance novel, or romantic full of flowers, gifts, and lavishing of spoiling love.
- There is always an easy way out of the marriage.
- The marriage will continually be a sexual ecstasy.
These are simply not the truth to walk into a marriage with. Being a Christian does not make your marriage perfect, but if you keep God first it does make it easier, but you still have to do your part.
You should not go into a marriage thinking you can change that person. Yes, things will go on in a marriage that God will ordain to smooth out each other and changes will take place, but that happens over time. You should not expect to do this on your own and you cannot force someone to change.
Yes, romance should take place in a marriage, but it is not guaranteed and no one is flawless, but Jesus Christ. You have to be ready to give out grace and to be able to take your spouse with flaws and all. There is nothing wrong with flowers and gifts but it is not a requirement in a marriage nor will it make the marriage good.
There is no easy way out of a marriage. Divorce hurts and was not intended by God to happen. It leaves wounds and scars on a heart that takes time to heal. God intended marriage to last forever. “… let no man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6.
True attraction to a person should go beyond the looks of a person. In 1 Corinthians 13 you find that love is an action that you give to your spouse. None of those actions says sex. Although sexual connection is a part of a marriage and keeping the bond between husband and wife, there may be times that there are dry seasons.
You are not guaranteed continuous sex whenever you want and that it will be perfect. Going into a marriage expecting things to be perfect in the sex category will cause discouragement and dissatisfaction that was not intended by God.
Putting it simply marriage is work. It is something that develops and matures as you continue to grow closer to your spouse and closer to God. There are going to be continuous difficulties and challenges that you will face during your marriage. But you can strengthen your marriage by keeping God first, communicating with your spouse, and being determined to work it out.
Divorce should not be an option to those simply just to get out of a marriage, but to stay loyal to the commitment you made and not be so quick to throw it away. Divorce should be a very last resort when one or both have come to a place where God says that it is not going to work. But if that has not happened then you should let it grow into a beautiful thing that God can use for His kingdom and to see the beauty in why God created it in the first place. It is up to us to change the wrong thinking and reverse this throwaway society and see that God made things to last and we can make the best of it – simply by choosing to do so.