There are many times in a marriage that you will experience hurt, pain, disappointment, and may question how all of it is going to turn out. You will feel yourself get frustrated and irritated at the things your spouse does that at one time may have been cute, overlooked, or secretly was hoping they would not do anymore.

When you get into this place you can find yourself having a short fuse and being unable to tolerate or deal and the smallest things can send you over the edge. You look at yourself during these times at what you may say or do and wonder “what is wrong with me”. Times like this can cause you to feel embarrassed, humiliated, and praying that you didn’t just mess the whole thing up.

So what is really going on when all this happens? A choice has changed on how you view things and you choose to believe that these things are greater than what you can bare. You may find yourself getting angry quickly and not tolerating things well. When you get to a place where you are on edge you will find that your patience meter has run out.

The drain of your patience can take place both slowly and quite rapidly depending on the pressure and on each individual’s personality. It could very well be that you may have forgotten to fill up in the morning with God before you started your day or an ongoing situation that may need to be addressed. This is why in the Bible we are instructed to handle these things by praying and waiting for answers.

There are many reasons that you can become drained and so much can happen when a person loses their patience. If you respond in a moment in anger a lot of damage can take place. This is why it is commonly said to take a step back for a moment before responding.

So what is the definition of patience? Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. There is a reason God has made patience to be a fruit of the Spirit and why it should be a big part of our daily walk and our marital walk.

For most people this is hard during the moment to remember to walk in patience and to wait for God’s instructions or to let life teach its lessons. It is hard to remember that God is still working on your spouse when a disagreement comes up or children are screaming and everything feels chaotic. One of the reasons it is so hard is because these are lessons for us to learn patience. It is one of the ways we are tested. We cannot apply patience if we do not have situations that requires it.

What does the Bible say about patience? I Corinthians 13:4 – Love is PATIENT, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. See how the very first action listed for love is being patient? Based on the definition of patience it makes perfect sense. If you learn to walk in patience all the other actions will be a lot easier.

When you apply what patience is in your marriage or in your life in general an instant change in how you think will take place. It wasn’t a magic trick and just suddenly appears. It is a choice each and every day to do, just like loving someone, getting dressed for the day, etc. You can chose at the moment whether you are going to handle it with patience or you are going to choose to be impatient – having or showing a tendency to be quickly irritated or provoked, restlessly eager.

When those events take place in your daily lives, ask yourself if you are walking in patience while things unfold. If the answer is no, then you know that you have some work to do.

You may be surprised how a little bit of patience can go a long way.