Have you ever thought about why we celebrate our wedding anniversaries?

The day we get married should be one of the happiest days of our lives because it is a day we make a commitment to be share the rest of our lives as one with our spouse.  Each year we are to celebrate that day in remembrance of how much we have grown together during that year and the excitement of the next. Unfortunately, there are many marriages that do not reflect this principle.

It is funny how many people will react to an anniversary as, “we have made it another year, “ I am so glad this year is over,” or “it feels like it has been f-o-r-e-v-e-r!” It makes one wonder, why such a dramatic survival attitude? It is as a person has just survived another year of boot camp. There is a mindset of failure and despair. It is as during that year you were expecting the marriage to fail.

Viewing the marriage with a mindset of regret and failure brings you into a survival mindset with a survival perspective. This is one of many reasons why marriages do fall; because the expectations of the mind is that it will not last and that all efforts are temporary.

As soon as something does not go right or your spouse doesn’t see things your way, what is your first response that goes through your mind? Many times when a person is upset or angry, they will say things in their mind, “I don’t see how this is going to work” or “It is never going to work.“

These things are spoken in the moment of hurt or misunderstanding. It becomes a seed in the mind that continues to grow if it is not destroyed. You will start picking up the habit of seeing all the flaws of the spouse. It starts to override the good that you see. Before you know it you can’t see the good at all.

This mindset continues to grow in a negative way to the point where each spouse will gradually start doing things on their own. They separate, doing their own things so they do not have to deal with or survive the other partner.

The mindset of surviving marriage is what needs to change. When you think of your anniversary you should reflect on what life handed you in that time, how you drew together, and at times fell apart. You should use it as a magnifying glass to see how to do it better the next year. Spend time with your spouse and make it memorable so that the flame of your love can continue to grow.

It is the same thing God wants us to do with Him. Reflect on our love with Him and how we are growing closer with Him. Here is a question to think about: What day was it you became one with God? It is an important anniversary to celebrate for the same reason. It is the day you agreed to become one with God, part of the Bride of Christ, and a child of God.

Next time your wedding anniversary comes up, focus on the good times and allow God to kindle your fire towards one another. When you do this you will be starting down the road of becoming the companions God created you to be.