Making The important Decision To Marry
Why is it that the importance of a commitment to a decision that lasts a lifetime seems to be something that so many take little time to think about and understand the importance thereof?
Many times we make decisions based on what we feel. If we go to the grocery store hungry we tend to come home with more because everything looks good due to a “hunger’ void that we are trying to fill. If you go shopping for clothes and you are stressed out about something, most times you will buy out of impulse and desire rather than making good quality decisions on what to get and end up over spending.
The same thing occurs when we start a project with the car or the house; if we enter into it with the wrong attitude then the quality of work will suffer, compared to having the right mindset at the start of the project that will endure and last.
Sometimes we will make the decision to wear summer clothes because it was warm in the house but go to leave and find out it is actually cold outside. Or we can decide that we are going to walk instead of drive to the store down the road because the sky looks clear and then it rains.
Regardless of what decision it is you are making, if you are not doing it correctly or with enough consideration on the desired outcome, you are going to suffer consequences. One of the biggest decisions you make in your life is to get married or not to get married and who to get married to.
Once you make a decision to go forward with getting married, many make the mistake of putting more thought into the actual ceremony that lasts one day than into the actual marriage itself that is to last a lifetime.
Some ministers require the couple to go through a period of counseling before marriage. Some ministers require engaged people to go through deliverance and other things to prepare them for marriage and even commit to sessions after marriage.
I have personally experienced people complaining about this and seeing it as a waste of time because they are so sure the one they want to marry is all they ever wanted. They look at it as though counseling is not going to do anything for them. They will even search for ministers who do not require them to go through this type of thing. Now I am not saying that it necessary to do this.
The question I want you to think about is why is it that they are avoiding the steps that could help them in making the right decision and become more prepared on what they are about to do? They may not understand that counseling isn’t a judgment whether or not they should get married but preparing them for what they are about to get into. It is like putting a complex project together without reading the instructions first.
Within a year of marriage they are wondering what they walked into. They wonder if they made the right choice. They did not understand the work a marriage takes and the suffering that you have to go through as you are perfecting the love walk of a marriage and learning what becoming one really means.
There are so many people who go in with the wrong expectations and they are blinded to any other way than their own way of seeing it. They do not wake up until it smacks them in the face and by then it is too late to change their mind. They have some sort of expectation that they are going to receive something out of the marriage that may not take place.
Children’s story books and TV shows paint a picture of how wonderful and easy marriage is for the wedding day but they do not show what goes on afterwards. Then as they get older the whole attitude towards marriage is careless. Society has conditioned people to take the decision of marriage very lightly with the escape of divorce. So they do not look at it as much more than a piece of paper.
The truth is, so much more is going on. When you get married you become connected not just in the physical realm of sharing a life together, responsibilities together, ministry together, etc., but also you become one in the spirit realm. In the upcoming blogs, we will go into more detail of becoming one and what is really involved in all of that.
For now, let’s break down the importance of this decision that you are making and why it should not be done in haste.
God holds the unity of marriage sacred and He does expect us to keep the commitment we made. Marriage is a gift God gave to us to have so that we do not have to be alone.
It is ultimately up to us to walk in His instructions of marriage and enjoy it as He intended it to be. A helper in life to serve God together and share the responsibility of having a family, do work for His kingdom, and to bring forth the future generations into the ways of the Lord together. But also to show an example of what it will be like to be married to Jesus.
So it is very important to see that when you decide you are going to get married to make sure it is who God wants you to be with, that God actually wants you to be married, and to get yourself prepared on what it really means to be married and willing to commit to it for the rest of your life.
There will be more blogs to come that you will be able to use in seeing what takes place during that union process in the spirit realm and what is going on and could answer some very deep questions you may have. But for now… take time to really look into what marriage is all about before you sign the paper of making that lifelong decision…..
Genesis 2:18 (NIV)
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:21-24 (NIV)
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.