A successful marriage seems to be very hard to find as the times are getting darker and so many people are becoming more self-centered. There are connections that are missing and blocks missing out of the foundation. The foundation of a successful marriage is built upon Jesus Christ and His attributes.
Communicating with your spouse along with seeing yourself as they see you so that you can have an understanding as to where they are coming from and why they respond the way they do is an important part of making sure the foundation is built completely.
We all have an idea of how we would like our spouse to see us, but we must take into consideration their personality, what they have experienced, and their expectation. You cannot find these things out if you are not communicating with each other properly and nurturing the marriage.
One key in keeping the marriage strong is to have compassion. To have true compassion it needs to be given through acceptance. Acceptance needs to be consistent with things that you can and cannot change. You cannot be choosy in what you do and do not accept. You have to take the whole package. You have to accept things such as their thoughts, feelings, and actions. You have to accept them the way God has created them and not trying to change them to who you think they ought to be.
Ask yourself this, would you want someone to come into your life and start trying to change everything about you and push their ideas, opinions, and dreams on you? You are going to want someone who loves you and accepts you for who you are and have compassion.
When acceptance is added into the marriage it brings a change to the relationship that helps the connection and bond to be more secure. Difference is what makes the marriage stronger and helps you to grow and be what the other needs to make life more fulfilling. Embrace your differences and accept each other and watch how the compassion will grow.
Another key keeping marriages strong is to let our spouses see that we are sincere in what we do and how we accept them. Our spouse needs to know that we are real and true about the commitment we have made to them. Authenticity is important so that they can trust and be secure in our love. This with the combination of integrity, honesty, and a desire to honor God with our lives brings the foundation of the marriage like a solid rock.
Many people have made many mistakes in this area, but know there is still hope. It is not however a reason to lower the standard. When you begin to dumb down your marriage and allow things to slide you begin to devalue God’s plan for your marriage. Even though God’s plan is a high standard and may seem difficult to obtain it still needs to stay where God places it.
The truth is we need to be quick to acknowledge our mistakes and then learn from it and continue to move on to building your marriage stronger. Your accountability for your marriage is to God.
Another key to bring a stronger foundation to your marriage is to have empathy. Jesus talks to us about being a servant and we should be a servant to our spouse. When we gave our vows we vowed our love to them not commanding them to love us. We tell them all the things we are going to do for them. We are supposed to be spend our lives every day filling out that role as we are walking out God’s plan together. This has to be in both our actions and our attitudes. It means putting your selfish desires to the side and putting your spouse before you.
Remember it is God first, then your spouse. When you do this you need to be able to put yourself in their shoes so that you can better understand them. You need to take out the time and make the effort to understand your spouse and what their needs are.
You need to see that there is opportunities to do this every day. Ask God to show you an opportunity to be empathetic and then do it. You will be amazed at what results that can come from it and how much happier the both of you can be.
When you put compassion, authenticity, and empathy together you will find that your foundation with Christ will be stronger than ever.
No matter where your marriage is today, take time to look in the mirror. Ask yourself these questions. What does your spouse see? How are they interpreting your words and actions? What needs to change?
As you begin to work on compassion, acceptance, and empathy, you will become aware of two minor miracles. You are placing your spouse firmly in the position God wants you to have him or her, and it keeps you building an awesome marriage. Those alone make that long look in the mirror worth it.