Each and every day we all should be working to become a person whose mind is on the good and positive things and focused upon God. This is not always an easy task. It is hard to stay positive when nothing seems to change or get better.

It is hard to stay positive or hopeful when you feel trapped or a victim of a spouse or loved one that seems to never change. It is hard when it seems like there is no hope, the bank account might be empty, bills piled up high, kids are out of line, and your marriage may seem like it is falling apart. You may be wondering how in the world am I going to be able to think positive with all this going on? Yes it is hard. It is hard but it is not impossible.

In the world’s eyes it is impossible. But when you put your trust in God it changes your perspective. You do not look at what is in front of you but you begin to dig closer in with God and line up your thoughts with what He says. Then when you put faith in what He says and find your peace in Him – miracles happen.

The truth is when we focus upon negative things we close our hearts off to others and to change. We begin to walk in offense and actually start to expect the bad things happening. This will also cause your sight and opinion of others to be skewed. You will begin to build triggers that will bring you back to the negative pattern.

You see these triggers and expectations repeated in life over and over. Many people who have gotten married, then divorced, and then married again have the same problems. This is because complete healing has not taken place and old expectations still linger. You could also have been hurt by other people not doing as they have said, so when someone “gives their word” or offers to do something, there is a small reservation that they will not carry it out. It becomes hard to not expect the repeated pattern when certain triggers take place.

It is things like this that causes people to have trust issues along with being able to have hope that things can change. It develops all kinds of negative patterns, and it is very hard to step into a new life change. It is truly a fight that will go against old thoughts and old ways of handling things. However you can overcome them by pushing through with the word of God, determination of overcoming it (you are already victorious through Jesus Christ), and seeing that as long as you are holding onto these things you are putting yourself in a self-made prison.

Yes this may seem harsh and I know firsthand that it is easier to give into the negative and just about become hopeless. But I have experienced freedom in this area and life is so much more enjoyable when you realize that the only thing you can control and change is you and your outlook.

You will also come to realize that as you think upon the good things that life will change. Your bank account will begin to grow because the new thought patterns will be thinking in ways of prosperity instead of being doomed to poverty. Your relationships will become restored because you will be looking at what can you give instead of what are you receiving. Your marriage will even become strengthened because you will begin to pray differently and have different desires of expectations instead of out of a mindset that it is going to fail anyway.

You need to focus on the things that are good and will bring productive results. You will have to battle a negative mind pattern. You will have to deal with your thoughts, attitude, and actions. You have to weed out the lies and myths that has twisted up your reality and receive the truth. Once you receive the truth then you have to walk it out.

The enemy attacks the mind so badly because if he can get you to think bad thoughts or hold onto bitterness, offense, and other junk that will poison your soul, then it will cause you to believe what you perceive as real. When these thoughts come up you have to press through and cast down the imaginations and thoughts that do not line up with God. You can only choose what you let stay and what you let go of. Pondering a thought can also plant a seed. You should be able to make a decision within 5 seconds or less whether or not the thought is a good one or bad one.

Do not become hopeless with this. Yes, it is hard. But you can do it or the Word of God would not encourage you to do so. It was meant for us to look through eyes of love and not through eyes of pain.

There are a few steps to help you climb out of the pit of hopelessness. It will help you to develop a stronger relationship with your spouse.

One is you have to be accountable and responsible for your own attitude. What your spouse is doing does not force you to be in a bad mood or control your response to their behavior. Yes, there will be trouble. Yes there will be days that it seems to not end. You do not have to choose to be miserable.

When you think about how terrible your marriage is, your spouse is, your children are, or how bad it is with the things you have it just makes things worse and the answer to the problem will remain far away. Negative thinking and actions only bring on more negative thinking and actions.

To turn this around you have to focus on the light (Jesus and the positive). When you focus on the light it will brighten up the darkness and you will no longer be paying over attention to the darkness but realizing that the light is stronger than the dark.

The truth is you can have everything you ever wanted handed to you and still choose to be miserable. You get your soul mate that God has promised you  and everything that spouse could do it right but if you are only focused on the negative, it will be all you see. You will not enjoy what you have but instead throw it away.

You can choose to be miserable or you can choose to focus upon the good things. It is amazing to watch someone who is always choosing to be happy and press forward when their world is falling apart by the situations and circumstances occur. It may seem like they don’t have anything but they make something out of nothing. God is supplying their needs in ways others may not be able to see. It is simply a decision to make a choice to be full of hope and have a positive attitude. This does take work to maintain a positive attitude, but it is possible and the Word of God supports this.

[Philippians 4:8 KJV]

⁸ Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Another step is to realize that your attitude affects your actions. You could be doing things that are nice but if you do it with the wrong attitude it can defeat the purpose. It could also give mixed messages to the one you are doing these things for, and it may be the result of why they responded to you the way they did if they happen to lash out at you. When you do these things with a negative attitude or actions you become part of the problem instead of the solution.

You can find the solution by focusing on the good and seeking God’s face. He will tell you and show you but you have to have an open heart to receive all that He wants to tell you. It is not always easy to be positive and think on good things, but it is do able all you have to do is do it.

It can get discouraging and disappointing when the change still doesn’t come or little change has taken place. Your energy may seem to be drained. You have to fight to keep the right mindset and do not give up on doing your part.

You do not want to resort in trying to manipulate your spouse to change either. You may be getting what you want temporarily or even think you are in control  but it is not the answer to the problem. It only intensives the problem and it will fail. You cannot change other people. However, you can influence others. This is one reason of many of why we are to be examples of Christ and be the correct influence. Jesus did not set His mind on negative thinking but instead on the thoughts of His Father. He was obedient on what His Father said and did and walked it out.

Living by faith means choosing to believe the things you do not see, but what God the Father speaks. It is also to speak things in to existence that lines up the Word of God and then watch them come to pass. In the process you must be willing to accept change from others, hold onto what God has said and not by what you see, give your spouse and others grace to accept the changes that you are going through, and keep your mind upon the positive things. Cast down all thoughts that are not in the obedience of Christ.

You will see that as you choose to set your mind upon these positive change that your life will take a drastic change for the better. You will life will be more enjoyable and you will genuinely be able to give hope to the world as you have focused upon Christ as your hope.