One thing that many of us do is needlessly worry. We allow a thought to come through and then we elaborate on the thought until it spirals out of control. It is one of the biggest things that people battle. A thought will come up in a form of a question about a person or their motives and if it is entertained it can snowball into a whole lot of trouble.

There are times when a spouse doesn’t meet an expectation that we had and the thoughts come flooding in. These thoughts can cause you to feel hopeless, frustrated, angry, or even resentful if they stay. A lot of times the thoughts spiral out of control to where they are not even true, but they change the way we think, feel, or even act towards our spouse.

If you have ever seen the cartoons where the good angel and the bad angel are on the shoulders of an individual trying to persuade the person to believe them, it is very similar to the way it works in the spiritual realm.

The enemy, the devil, will whisper lies of accusations against your spouse, hoping for you to take the bait so that he can wreak havoc in your life. Then he will even use things that others say to support it or cause it to gain a foundation if it is not countered.

Some of these lies take place on the way your spouse looks, the clothes they wear, whether or not they are sexually interested in you, the lack of appreciation, what they are or are not doing for you, and the list can go on and on. It is geared to cause division, doubt, and confusion so that separation can take place. The enemy, the devil, is constantly looking for a foothold to get in.

If you allow the thought to stay and you ponder on it, then the enemy will bring it to the next level. He will try to get you to look at another marriage and compare yours to it, or give you excuses why you are not happy in your marriage and point out all the flaws in how it is not going to work. He will try to remind you of all the things you should have and how “perfect” your marriage should be.

The enemy will start accusing your spouse of being the reason you do not have things or how you’re missing out on other things that he will try to convince you that you are entitled to have. He will start with the attraction between you and your spouse. He will nit pick at the type of sexual contact you have whether it should be more or less, what is not attractive about your spouse anymore, or even get you to try to think of things that the other person may not be happy with anymore.

The enemy doesn’t care how he widdles at your thoughts – he does it because if he can get in, he knows that he can start separating and dividing and that is where the real war can begin.

The enemy doesn’t play fair and he plays with the intent of destruction. He tries his hardest to get you to think about all the things your spouse doesn’t do so that it gets your eyes off the things that they are doing. It can cause you to not appreciate the wonderful gift God gave to you in the first place.

It is a miracle, an act of love that God gave us our spouses. He did this so that we would not be alone. The enemy is not going to stop pounding at your thoughts, trying to creep in, and attack what you believe in your spouse. But it is up to you if you will ponder and accept those thoughts or choose to believe what God says about your spouse and to choose to be happy no matter what.

The devil wants to discourage you from rejoicing in what God has graciously given to you as a married couple. You have to make sure you throw out the garbage of the enemy and not allow it to collect and become a landfill.

Here are a few pointers on if you have been listening too much to the enemy’s words and seeing your spouse through the accusations of the enemy: You will find yourself being more frustrated with your spouse, irritable, spending less time with them, and even looking at all the little things that annoy you.

You will find yourself speaking harshly to them, becoming more demanding on cleaning, their weight, your sexual life, and even will leak into your complaints about their spiritual walk.

If you are not careful you will even find yourself accusing them for the placement you are in and for all the things that are going or has gone wrong.

When you find yourself doing these things you need to recognize it for what it is and find out where you allow the enemy to change what you believe about your spouse and get the door closed and the garbage taken out.

Regain the ground that the enemy took and pray for the healing that your spouse will need for the behavior that comes from listening to the accusations of the enemy. Tell the enemy to shut up and go back to the pit where he belongs. Tell the enemy the truth that you love and adore your spouse. Tell him all the wonderful things about your spouse and that he is no longer going to build footholds to creep in and steal all forms of the intimacy out of your marriage or put wedges between you and your spouse. Tell the devil how happy you are to be with them and that God is first in your lives and His voice only will you listen to.

Pay attention to these flags that come because the enemy will use these things to bring forth shame upon your union, marriage together, and to God. The devil will try to open the door to lust, adultery, pornography, and other addictions such as over eating, over working, anything to keep you from keeping a healthy relationship with your spouse.

Remember this as these things happen, it doesn’t just affect you. It also affects your children and their children. It affects your spouse. The sin goes from one generation to another until it is stopped.

These thoughts and actions affect the church you attend and the people whose lives you influence. The issue is there are so many that thinks that the devil is just after them, but the truth is the devil is only after you as a game piece against God. Because the devil knows that if he can get you to break up your marriage, then you break God’s heart because you are breaking a covenant that you made before Him to love and cherish the gift that He gave to you.

Anytime an accusation comes towards your spouse – fight it immediately. Hold it up before God and use the Scriptures against it. Bring your thoughts into captivity and obedience to Jesus Christ. Follow the actions of love in 1 Corinthians 13. See the accusations for what they are and decide to see the truth. These thoughts are toxic and garbage. Even if it is only 1% false it is still a lie. And a lie must be destroyed at the very root.

If you find that this is a big battle for you, write down a list of 4 or 5 things that you love about your spouse. Write down specific things about their character that really is rooted in them that you are thankful that God gave you them to be made one with you.

Then go out of your way to do something for them or to help them. Tell them something that would encourage them that day. Thank God for them and pray for them and what a blessing they are in your life.

This really does work and will defeat the enemy because you are using the truth and the love that God has given you against him. Remember these are accusations of the enemy and he only comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

You can become closer to your spouse and further from the enemy’s whispers by praying with your spouse and drawing closer to them instead of further away. Talk with your spouse and listen to what they have to say. Compliment your spouse and you will see that this will destroy all that the enemy had planned simply because you chose not to listen to him but to God.

Decide today that you are an overcomer of the accusations of the enemy, the devil towards your spouse.