As the new year has started and the old year has ended, many people are open to new changes and are willing to let go of the past year and move on. One area of our lives that God wants to change is in our marriages. God wants to heal and mend relationships between husbands and wives. God wants marriages to reflect His love, who He is, and what a relationship with Him should look like.

When you think of your marriage, what comes up to the surface? Have you had to deal with betrayal, disappointment, shame, guilt, division, strife, unmet expectations, pain, feelings of loneliness, feelings of being unloved, or rejection? As these thoughts come up, it is ok to let the tears fall and let God know how much it hurts and how hard it is to get past it. God wants to drain the pain out and uproot all that the enemy has piggybacked on, and shine the Light to heal as the wounds are exposed.

As you cry out, make sure you take time afterwards to listen to God. You will find out what you are accountable for, what your spouse is responsible for, and what the enemy is responsible for. No matter who is at fault, you are going to have to allow the bars of prison to be removed from you. This will bring freedom to accept the change that is going to have to take place. The change starts within you.

When you let the pain out and come to grips that it is there and cannot stay, you are one step closer to your healing. Ask for forgiveness of what you are guilty of and also who you need to forgive including yourself.

As these things surface, God wants to give you a solution to the problems and then all you have to do is use what He gives you as a tool and walk it out. God does not reveal  a problem without giving you a solution. He gave us His Word, which is not just an instruction manual of life, but also a solution manual for the problems. Everything you need is in there, but it is up to you to use it.

When you forgive it does require you to hit the reset button for your spouse. This is a very difficult thing to do when you have been dealing with years and years of hurt and pain. That is why it is so important to let God heal the pain so that you can forgive.

Forgiveness does not mean you are saying what they have done was right. When you forgive, you are stepping out of the prison and into the freedom of healing.

Let this year be a year of healing between you and your spouse and let it start with forgiving. Forgive completely and chose to release your spouse from what has happened. Decide to move forward with a new mindset that you are choosing to love no matter what your spouse chooses. You may be surprised on how much your new change can bring your spouse around.

The change has to start somewhere. Why not let the change start with you? It starts by letting the healing begin and take it one step at a time, each day knowing that as you come out of your wounded perception, new life in your relationship can be born.