Who or what is number one in your life? Who is your first love?

In the world we live in there are so many people that have different ideas and desires on what they want, who they want and why. They enter into a marriage with their own expectations and understanding on what they would like out of a marriage. When they do not get it they are quick to drop the slot of positions and replace it with other things. The truth is the world and people in general are searching for something; but until they find the One true answer, Jesus, they just keep searching.

Take a moment and think about your life. What or who is the one thing you cannot live without? Some people would say their children, their homes, their job, their money, their spouse, and then some may actually say God.

Then take a moment and ask yourself what do you look to when you need comfort, have a bad day, just received the worst news, or are in pain of any kind? This will reveal what is your idol and first in your life and what your trust is in.

Search your hearts very deeply in this. The truth is God should be the first and foremost on your mind.

Even if absolutely nothing else is working, if you have God that is all you should need. However, when you are in a marriage your spouse desires your attention, your support, your encouragement, and is a reflection of what your relationship with God looks like. You may be surprised on as you put God first how you will come to understand the importance of having your spouse next and working together to place everything else in its place. Your children will not feel that the spot of your spouse over takes them but will only see it as both of you is there for them. This is what happens when you have balance and everyone is in their place.

When you replace the positions of these things out of order it brings the marriage into an unhealthy state and it doesn’t reach the place where God intended it. Think of it like a rush of water coming out of a dam into a large hole to make a place for living waters to flow, as your love for one another rushing into your place of residence with each other. It rushes in from the beginning, full of vibrancy and excitement. If the source is no longer entered in and the dam is built up, the water becomes still and unmoving. This is just like a married couple who has lost their passion and love for each other and God. The dam has become that idol that stops the water or love from flowing. If it is not replenished, the heat of discouragement, sin, and other things become like the heat of the sun and dry it out to nothing.

Unfortunately, there are not enough couples that are putting God first in their own lives, first in their marriage, first in their parenting, and they allow something else to take His place and failure, sorrow, sadness, regret, and things like this take place and block their love. There are so many that are putting their own needs and wants first and their unmet expectations that it throws everything off course, off balance, and many lives are affected.

Marriage has become something that is easily disrespected and has been so shredded from the way God has intended it that it brings problems to many people’s perspectives that there are so few marriages to really have as an example of what marriage should look like. Because of this there are so many people who do not have the right sight on what they should expect from Jesus since our marriages are supposed to reflect His love for the church.

As children of God, one who is married should be seeking ways to bring their marriage to the way God intended it so that the world could see that what they have been taught is wrong. In the world today it is about what you should get and not what you can give. It is about what you are not getting and having or missing out on and not what God has built it to be.

Adultery is running rapid in the marriages, abuse, ungodly unions, to name a few. It has tainted, twisted, and distorted even the idea of marriage and what is worse is it is found right in the church.

The first step to getting your marriage right is putting God as your first love and then put Him first in your marriage. When you do this you no longer look at what you don’t have or not getting and you listen for His instructions, live out His love, and healing can begin.

Marriage has its own assignments and what God wants out of it. Marriage has its own ministry to it on who it is to touch and what it will do for those around it and in it. But the one thing that should always be is God is first. When you put God first and remove the idol of self, spouse, and things of this world, then you are able to be the spouse you need be and that brings change to the marriage and puts the right foot forward.

If your spouse is not on board at first, pray for them. Seek God’s face continuously and ask Him every day what He wants you to do and before you know it you are dropping your expectation for the marriage and it becomes a testimony for Him.

It is not over until God says it is over. Search your heart and ask God what you are putting before Him and before the marriage. As He reveals them, remove them. And allow the healing to take place. You will be surprised on who is watching and how the change that is made will affect their lives as well. Place God back as first and then just walk forward.