1 Corinthians 11:3 (ERV)
But I want you to understand this: The head of every man is Christ. And the head of a woman is the man. And the head of Christ is God.

There are ways that a woman looks for a man to be in charge and to lead in different areas in the marriage and in their lives together, while still including her. Men, she may look like she has it all under control and doesn’t need you, but the truth is she desires you to be a part of what she is doing and take the initiative to help contribute to the tasks at hand. Here are a few areas that a wife looks for her husband’s leadership and cooperation:

Head of House
A wife is looking for her husband to be the head of the house while taking their suggestions and desires into consideration. A wife looks to her husband to be the strong one who knows where the family is headed and where it is going. A wife looks to the husband to be the one who shows the example of the beliefs and standards of the family that brings them all together as a whole. She wants the husband to be consistent and reinforce what the two of you have agreed upon and to talk frequently so that unity is always being practiced. She expects this from the husband so that there is an example of what the family should live like and how to do it. This is the same as when Jesus came as an example for us to live right and show the family of God. Jesus does this by the Words He spoke and lived by.

Attention to Family
A wife looks to the husband to be the one who shows attention to the family and looks for him to show approval of what they are doing. She is looking for you to show just as much attention to her and the children as you do with your work and the things you enjoy. When you do this it sets a security that they matter to you. Even when you have had a hard day at work, they need to know that you will still notice them and listen to them. You may be surprised husbands how much five minutes of your time with your spouse and each of your children makes a difference. It can even result in saving time later from the fighting and bickering that sometimes occurs just to get your attention.

Involvement in the Planning
Okay, husbands, it may seem that your wife has all the planning down to a science, but the truth is they desire and long for your involvement and participation of planning things. Showing your interest in things like vacations, date nights, birthdays, meal planning, and things like that shows you care about the event and the one involved with the event. It even shows you are paying attention and care when you mention it before they do that it is coming up, and offering to help and being available to help. This changes the atmosphere of the event as well. A child can feel the participation of both parents when it comes to things such as their birthday parties and it makes them feel that both parents care about them being a part of their lives.

The Home
The containment of a home is a woman’s masterpiece. She desires the home to reflect her taste and be what she gives into the family. It is what she was called by God to do and that is to make the house a home. But a wife looks to her husband to help her make the home not just beautiful but secure and stable. She looks to the husband to make sure all the home improvement is done to bring a sense of safety to the home.

A wife desires her husband to see the little details that she contributes to the home as well as a helping hand in some of the burden to keep the house clean and presentable to others. She looks to the home to be a reflection of her so when people see the home, they see her. When a husband sees something that needs to be fixed and fixes it without being asked, it lets her know that he cares about the home as well.

For a wife it is not about how much the house cost, or how big it is, it is about the house turning into a home. She would desire you to help keep the home in a strong and stable structure to build her “nest” so to speak.

Finances
Security is one of the main things that a woman looks for in her marriage. It is not about having a lot of money or being able to be lavished with gift upon gift. Part of that security comes from the financial side of things. A wife looks to the husband to see the needs of the family and discuss with her how things are going to be taken care of, setting goals for the family and their future, sharing the vision and dreams of the family, and seeing that you are going to be accountable to doing your part to see it come to pass. The husband’s motivation plays a key part in this.

The wife is not looking to you to be a taskmaster in this, just to be included and have a voice to be heard and to see action take place. A wife also likes to see and hear of the husband’s reliability on God and to understand the distinction between God’s role and his role.

It is even an added bonus if the husband shares his heart on what part he would like the wife to play a part in this. This gives her a sense of purpose in the stability of the family and that the husband trusts her to support what he is doing and how she will do her part to make sure he has the time to bring the needs of the family and have time for his own needs as well as all the time he needs to have to do God’s things.

Reflection for the Husband
Husbands, I ask you this, what are you taking the initiative in your household to do and how are you including your wife in what you are doing? Are you being a leader with no teamwork or are you placing the burdens on her? God called you to be the leader of the home to work with Him to be what your family needs to be stable, secured, and to have a strong marriage that will exalt Him and not disgrace Him.

As I was writing this up the song came to mind: Lead Me, by Sanctus Real. Husbands, this song sums it up. A wife wants to be lead and included in your life. She looks up to you to be the sustainer of the home. Seek inside yourself and ask yourself where can I get better in this area?

Reflection for the Wife
Wives, you are going to have to let go of that “control” reign that you hold over your husband and give him the chance he needs when he is willing to take the lead. Support him and encourage him to bring direction in your home and do your part in praying for him to do it God’s way. Strength in your marriage and your home will take place as all this unfolds.

Face it ladies, God did not call the wives to be leaders of the home. He called them to support the leader and work with the leader to see God’s will come to pass. It is about teamwork and with team work comes the unity.

Titus 2:4-5 (ERV)
4 By doing this they will teach the younger women to love their husbands and children.
5 They will teach them to be wise and pure, to take care of their homes, to be kind, and to be willing to serve their husbands. Then no one will be able to criticize the teaching God gave us.