Communication is extremely important for a successful marriage. When you look into the Word on why God made Eve for Adam, it was because Adam needed a companion.

Genesis 2:18-24 (ERV)
A Companion for Adam
18 Then the Lord God said, “I see that it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make the companion he needs, one just right for him.”
19 The Lord God used dust from the ground and made every animal in the fields and every bird in the air. He brought all these animals to the man, and the man gave them all a name.
20 The man gave names to all the tame animals, to all the birds in the air, and to all the wild animals. He saw many animals and birds, but he could not find a companion that was right for him.
21 So the Lord God caused the man to sleep very deeply. While he was asleep, God took one of the ribs from the man’s body. Then he closed the man’s skin where the rib had been.
22 The Lord God used the rib from the man to make a woman. Then he brought the woman to the man.
23 And the man said, “Finally! One like me, with bones from my bones and a body from my body. She was taken out of a man, so I will call her ‘woman.’”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife. In this way two people become one.

What is a companion?

The definition of a companion is:
Noun:

1. a person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time or with whom one travels.
2. one of a pair of things intended to complement or match each other.
3. a member of the lowest grade of certain orders of knighthood.

Verb: accompany.

In other translations of the Word of God the word ‘helper’ is used. So God created a woman to be the man’s helper – his companion.

In order to be a companion or a helper you must be able to communicate back and forth to be on the same page and to walk in unity. If you do not know what the other person is doing or thinking, you very well could do the opposite and this brings great division and discord.

Examples of lack of communication:

Finances

One of the major things that couples have a lack of communication in is over finances. There is a constant struggle with who is in charge and how it is done. The best time to speak about the arrangement of this is before you get married. Get to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and fill in for one another so that when one is weak the other can be strong.

For example: If the husband has had issues with gambling in the past or an inability to pay bills on time and the wife seems to be very good with balancing bills and making sure everything is put where it should be, this would be the time for the wife to put a plan into action. But in the process, talking it over with her husband and explaining to him what she is doing and how it should work out. This not only keeps the wife accountable for what she is doing but also gives the husband the chance to speak of any concerns or requests that he may have.

Or it could go the other way around. What if the wife has a bad spending problem and gives into the children for everything that they want and constantly gives excuses why the bills can wait until “next” time. The husband is very good at seeing what the children need, but they may not need it at that very moment and can plan out a time for them to receive what they would like to have and even give their wife a certain amount she can spend. Both parties will need to listen to the other and balance out a plan that brings unity and see that it is not about who is in charge of what because technically they would both have a say due to communicating with each other. The next part of this is sticking with the plan that is agreed upon.

Misinterpreted motives:

Another thing that couples have a lack of communication on is not knowing how to show love the way that the other spouse needs to see and receive love. When you do not know how someone needs to be loved then there is a greater chance for more hurt, wounds, rejection, and misunderstanding of actions. They can misinterpret the other person’s motives due to their wounded perceptions. If the other spouse does not know or understand this due to lack of communication it can spiral into a heated battle that makes things much worse and destroys relationships.

For example, if a wife has insecurity issues and the husband is only showing he loves her by buying her gifts; but she sees it as ‘he must be hiding something’ due to some past wounds, then there would be a misunderstanding of the motives no matter how pure they may be. Or if a wife is dressing up nicely for her husband to go out and he is wondering why she is dressing up to be seen by other men, adopting a hostile attitude and initiating false accusations might take place if they do not talk about it.

These are only a few of many issues that come along with not communicating with each other during marriage. Many times it is over the smallest things, but even a tree starts with a seed.

What are the benefits of communicating with each other?
Communication brings balance

Communication brings balance as each person learns to listen as well as speak truthfully about the topic at hand. It lets you know where each person stands but also their role in the goal that has been brought to the table. Without communication team work does not take place and disaster starts to occur.

Communication brings security
Communication brings a security within the marriage that brings a foundation of trust. When you can trust someone there comes a sense of comfort that a person can rely on. When you can trust the person you are married to you are more confident that things will get done and in the way that you had agreed upon.

Communication brings deeper intimacy and relationship
Communication brings a deeper intimacy and relationship with one another. You get to know each other’s weaknesses and strengths, like and dislike, and triggers and pleasures. You will get to know their favorites and their least liked. You will be able to tell when a good time to discuss things is and when it is a good time to walk away and wait for another time. You will even find out that through this communication you will be able to start and finish each other’s words and thoughts.

Communication brings oneness.
Communication brings a oneness into a relationship because you are coming to an understanding of a person and can relate to them on a different level. You learn how to take their sense of humor, how to know their body language instead of guessing, among so many other things.

Communication is what God wants for the same reasons
Communication is what God desires and wants with us. He wants us to come to Him and talk with Him so that we can get to know who He is and His character. He desires to have that intimacy with you and that trust with you that you will rely on Him to provide for you in all areas of your life. When you and your spouse learn to communicate with God together, there comes another level of trust. It can bring an understanding of a spiritual security that God is the head of the union and the foundation becomes solid because it is built upon God. There comes a protection in the spiritual and natural realm that keeps the unity strong and then each person will pick up quicker when something is not right and deal with it together.

Take the first step
Begin communicating with your spouse even if it is a small beginning of “hi, how is your day?” and listen. You will be surprised how one step can be the beginning of a great turn around for your marriage in communication. Ask your spouse to pray with you, even if it begins with dinner and then continue to include bedtime and etc. When you are doing this, you are opening the door for God to work.

Ask God about the flaws and fix it
Pray to God and ask Him to help you see where your communication with your spouse is flawed and how to fix it. Also ask God where your communication with Him is flawed and fix that as well. As you get your relationship with God fixed and open with communication you will see that communication with others, especially your spouse gets much easier.

God desires to hear from you and speak to you. All you have to do is give Him your attention. He can teach you how to be great at communicating as well as being the best companion you can be to your spouse. This will bring a greater success to your marriage.