Have you ever noticed that marriage vows are not decreeing what you are going to get but what you will give?

Throughout the Bible marriage is addressing both of the roles of the husband and wife; male and female. When He addressed them it is in the form of their duties in the marriage not about what they will get out of the marriage for themselves. The same thing goes for when we make the commitment to unite with our partner. What we say is not about what we are going to receive but what we are committing to give.

The marriage vows go something like this…
I take ________________ to be my ____________________, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part {with an end of some sort to seal the deal of an oath given under God.}

So for those of you that your marriage is a little rocky, it may be time to reflect on your marriage vows that you made to each other before God and the witnesses that attended. When situations come and life happens are you giving of what you have committed to?

Now I am not condoning abuse, adultery, or any type of violation of a person against their will in any form. There are things that God will break a commitment make to a person to a person, but it is in His say not man’s and this will need to be done accordingly.
Putting that to the side, this brings on the importance of knowing who you are with and how well you know them. If you already marriage, it is time to take a step back and look at who you married for whatever reason and evaluate the changes that YOU can make.
The marriage vows do not say….
I take ________________ to be my _______________________, to enslave and control, from this day forward, only when things are good and I get my way and if things go bad I will find another to fulfill my needs; for as long as you have money and allow me to spend it as I so choose and when things get tight or you lose your job, that I will find another to provide for me and you will become a doormat to me, for as long as you are in good health and can fulfill all my wildest imaginations, and if you get sick do not expect me to take care of you for I will have much better things to do, for I will love you as long as I can be selfish, ran by my own expectations, and as that as long as you say I am not wrong, I will cherish you as long as I am getting something in the deal and once that stops I am hitting the road or I will stay and treat you less than a piece of dirt on the ground. I will use sex as a tool of control and will withhold it if you no longer give me the satisfaction that I need. My commitment to this will change as I so desire.

The sad thing is so many people get married with the wrong expectations. They do not take the time to hear God’s voice clearly and jump the gun. They are looking for something that is not what marriage was intended for. I was one of those people.

My marriage is called of God but we jumped the gun in not getting cleaned up and stabilized in our walk with God before we got married; therefore we had to suffer through things that we did not have to. Through it all God is working with bringing us closer and stronger in Him first and then into each other.

There were voids we were both trying to fill in ourselves that only God could fill. We are blessed that we both committed to the marriage and have been determined to walk out our destiny with God. We have been blessed to have our Pastor who has allowed God to help guide us through the entire process. Many people do not get that and when they do, they ignore what has been said to them.

If you would get in the Word you would see what is required of you and that you can make the best of the marriage you have or are going to have. Placing God first and foremost will not only help you fulfill your commitment of the marriage vows but also to fulfill your commitment to love.

When you look up the Scriptures of love in 1 Corinthians 13, love is an action of giving. When you die to all selfishness you will see that as you give out, you will be refilled by the Father.

Marriage is hard work. There are no easy roads. You have a choice to make each and every day of loving your spouse/partner and to be true to your commitment. If you have entered into your marriage with the wrong ideas, now is the time to repent and ask God to take His rightful place and allow the healing to take place. This is a process, but with God you can do it.

If there is more than you can handle in the marriage, I would advise you to seek Godly help to get you through and to help clarify and confirm the actions that you need. Each marriage has its own set of problems and situations, but God is the Almighty One who has it all in His hands if we would just take a step back and give Him full reign.

Choose to put God first in your marriage. Choose to be an action of love. Choose to be one that will fulfill your commitment to your vows. When you choose to put yourself last you may become surprised how God will change you, your perspective, and how things can become brand new.

Compare your marriage vows to how you should love Christ and your commitment to Christ. Are you fulfilling your vows you have made to Him? Jesus Christ gave His all for you. He did nothing out of selfishness. He desires that you do the same for Him and for others.

Ponder upon this and choose today to put your love into action to show Jesus just how you love Him. When you do this, it will give you the strength to be able to endure anything that comes down the road with your marriage and relationships.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (ERV)
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. 5 Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. 6 Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth. 7 Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits.
8 Love will never end. But all those gifts will come to an end—even the gift of prophecy, the gift of speaking in different kinds of languages, and the gift of knowledge.