Does it feel that sometimes, your spouse is not on the same page as you and maybe you feel a little slated or frustrated? It is hard to work with someone when unity may seem to be disrupted and things seem not quite like they should be. Actions and attitudes seems to come and go and the atmosphere can shift pretty quickly. This can be very hard to handle at times, especially when it catches you by surprise.
Arguing is not the answer. Pushing your ideas, opinions, and understanding is not going to help you win the battle. It also will not draw your spouse closer or bring unity. You may state how you feel and your opinion because you too have a voice. But arguing your case is not going to help.
There are times your souse is going to be having a bad day. An internal struggle may be going on that you simply cannot do anything for them, but to love them even at their worse. You may simply not understand where they are coming from, what they are thinking, and it may not be over in a day.
When situations come and it may seem that your spouse is struggling or going through a storm, your first desire would be wanting to help them in some way even if there are wrong motives behind it. Unfortunately, most of the time we want to do it our way, by our thinking, our understanding of what the person is going through or feeling. This almost always doesn’t help a situation but may detain it for a season or make it worse.
It is important to be slow to speak and just listen. Take yourself out of the “being done wrong” spot. Take a moment and listen for God’s voice to hold onto the peace that He gives when things like this comes up.
We have to first accept the fact that our spouses have their own way of thinking and doing things that are not how we would do or think on things. This is not disunity. This is them being individuals.
One of the struggles I have had in the past was not being able to see that there was another way of doing things that would work that wasn’t my way. It doesn’t matter if you know your way will work. What matters is giving another person the chance to try their ideas and sometimes they will make mistakes and they too have to learn. It can be hard taking a step back and at times you will cringe inside wanting to just do it your way, but as you let go, you will find it becomes easier and you may be surprised at the growth that will take place in the other spouse.
I have also been on the other side of that scenario and it doesn’t feel very well either. I have realized that it does no good to argue with someone that believes that their way is the only way. So how to handle this?
Women whether you like it or not, there has been a scripture that has placed in the bible to help us during this time. There are times that we have to stay quiet and endure the storm and allow your walk with God and conduct do the speaking. This is when our focus needs to only be on Jesus and the family and leave your husband in God’s hands and just be an example of God’s love.
1 Peter 3 is a scripture that is very important to understand that there are times we are going to have to endure things going wrong and love at all times.
Women, we were not sent here on this earth to fix our husbands. We were sent here to help our husbands. We were sent here to pray and intercede for our husbands, just as the Holy Spirit is sent here to help all of us. When your husband is not doing what they should be doing or what you think they should be doing, PRAY. Get before the Heavenly Father and ask Him what is going on and to help guide you during the period of questioning. Sometimes you do have to confront, but when you do, make sure the Holy Spirit is with you and you will have a peace through the conversation and will know when to walk away. Then let the Holy Spirit do the rest.
Prayer is not for things to go our way but to go God’s way. This is very important to remember and to be open to being told that things are not quite how we see them.
There are times where you are going to say things and be like, “geez, why did I just say that?” Take a deep breath and try again. Your spouse may not want to hear what you have to say or be in a place to hear it, but God is always available to listen. Don’t hold in all the things that goes on inside. You have a voice and God is always listening to hear it. When you release these things inside to Him then they are not in there to cloud up or stop you from receiving the truth of how God wants things done.
Sometimes you will not be on the same page as your spouse, but as long as you keep your hands in God’s, He will line you up. He will keep you strong through the season and give you the strength to be able to extend your hand to help them back to where they need to be through love, encouragement, and walking the right way.
For this week, work on your communication with God. Ask Him to give you more patience with your spouse and to help you control your mouth and to be slow to speak when a problem presents itself. Let God do the fixing. You just be obedient to what He tells you do and follow the Word of God and you may see miracles happen before your eyes.