In this season of Thanksgiving and the change of weather and time, it is also a time that we need to reflect upon where our lives are and where they are headed. In this same theme, let us reflect on our marriage and see just where we are at in our marriage.
How thankful are you for your marriage? This can be measured by how many times you think about leaving, what all is going wrong versus how much do you speak positive about your marriage and uplift your spouse. Do you tear down your spouse and hold their sins and short comings against them or do you instead love them on their worst days and hold them up before God?
Running down your spouse not only makes your marriage look bad but also if you are really praying for your spouse and then you go to someone and speak bad against them – unrelated to getting prayer, you are cancelling your own prayer.
Let’s go a little deeper. Think about yesterday and your actions towards your spouse on how much you showed them that you loved them. Now take that measurement and if that is how much love you were to receive tomorrow, how much love would you be given?
The Word of God is very clear that love itself is an action. I Corinthians 13 explains it well. This is something that we need to be working on each and every day. Jesus did not love as He was loved but loved unconditionally.
Jesus knew that Judas would betray Him. Even up to the moment for Judas to do so, Jesus did not holler at him or belittle him in front of everyone. Instead Jesus simply told him what he has to do, do it quickly.
Jesus loves the saints and the sinners even knowing their wrongs and shortcomings, their betrayals and rejections. It is no different than with our spouses.
The truth is our spouses are not going to be perfect, just like we are not perfect. They are going to mess up in some way, shape or form. They are going to hurt us. They are going to disappoint us. They are human, with a fallen nature. But we do not have to hold it against them. We instead do unto them as we would want done… love them.
In fact in 1 Corinthians 13 is speaks that love does not keep records of wrongs. Not only does this keep you from holding this stuff inside, but it keeps you free from the baggage that can come with it as well as letting these things go gives you more of an opportunity to start the next day fresh and new.
Taking this to the next level, here is a weightier question for you. If you looked at how you loved your spouse for the whole day, how would you fair if it was revealed that your spouse was Jesus in disguise?
It is not about how they treated you that brought your reaction or to be used as an excuse of why you did not love as you should. It is not about you love me first then I love you. That is not how it is supposed to work. You should not be responding that Jesus wouldn’t do what my spouse does. This is about you, taking a look at your actions, and realizing the reality of this statement. Do you love your spouse as you should love Jesus Christ?
I, in all sincerity, had to repent that my love is not to that level and now, every day I am going to choose to do better in that area. So I started to pray more and wondering just how I can do better with this. Where do I begin? It is with thanksgiving that this can begin to take place.
Being thankful that God has given me a chance to have a spouse to love as I would want to be loved and to be the love of Christ to him. To be thankful for the assignment that would be a light to the world as they see the example of my walk with God as it is reflected towards my husband and children at home.
Jesus was always thankful for what God showed Him and told Him and He did this by stating that it was by God the Father that Jesus could do anything. Numerous times Jesus had stated He only did as He seen His Father do, or His Father say. (John 5:19; John 5:30; John 6:38)
John 8:28 So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He, and that I do nothing on My own, but speak exactly what the Father has taught Me.
In the same manner, we should not be drawing the attention on ourselves in our marriage to but reflect our spouse and what God is doing with them. When we become thankful for this, it gives room for God to move in their lives and bring forth their callings in God and lives can be touched and changed.
As God is working on the spouse and you are just loving them, that also gives you more time to spend with God and keep yourself in line on where and what God is doing with you. You learn to let go and just trust God by being thankful for even the things you cannot see.
Let the love in your marriage be more of giving out then wanting to receive. When you do this, doors of opportunity of change can and will take place. Allow love to become the action of thankfulness of the life you have and watch how it can transform a house into a home that will reflect God’s light.